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Monday, November 19th 2012

5:43 PM

What Do Black Women and White Men Have In Common? Scapegoating Black Men For Their Problems

Chuck has up yet another piece that purportedly examines the "hipster racism" extant over at Jezebel, which in turn runs a piece from Ebony.com by an anonymous writer bemoaning her obesity woes as a result of "street harassment" on the part of Black Men that rises to Birth of a Nation proportions. I see Chuck's argument and once again I call phooey on that, for reasons that should have been made clear on my previous post on the subject. 

But since he's keen to go there once again, and since it's clear that there are at least some Sistas who also seem keen to keep foisting this canard onto the rest of us, what the heck, let's go unto the breach, one mo gin. 

First, please note that the original grievance piece at Ebony doesn't cite any data whatsoever to back up the assertions being made; indeed, please note that the bulk and mass of pieces "protesting" this street harassment nonsense doesn't either, and there's a very good reason for that:

Because they can't.

Once again: per the FBI crime data circa 2009, violent crimes of all kinds - including that against Women, like forcible rape, assualt and the like, has gone DOWN, over the previous two decades - a timeframe that, since Chuck wants to focus on the supposed racial aspect of all this, was the height of the Gangsta Rap era. That's right - Black Women on a whole, saw their quality of life in terms of not being victims of violent crime, drastically improve. By any measure, and in an alternate (read: SANE) universe, this would be, if not cause for celebration, at the least sober acknowledgment that major progress has been made. Of course, this cannot be done - one, because to do so would take the onus off the supposed "oppressors" and two, because it would then throw a huge light on the real problems and challenges Black Women face out there on the open dating/relating market. More on this below. 

But before we go any further, let's revisit the Ebony.com piece for just a moment - first, it's written anonymously by a Black Woman whom we cannot see with our own eyes (it is fair to assume that the photo that accompanies the article is a stock pic; recall the point I made in my previous post along these lines). In other words, we are merely to take what this lady says, literally sight unseen - right? Well, we've been down that road before, not just in terms of Black Men being railroaded historically along such "shield" lines, but more recently with even White Men coming this close to landing in the pokie - and we see how that turned out. No, thank you, I'll be much more inclined to buy the testimony of a witness who bears their face and uses their name, as opposed to lobbing their (baseless!) charges from behind the safe security of a shroud, where what they say can't be cross-examined for veracity and truthiness in the light of day. 

Second, the lady's assertion that her unmitigated weight gain was due to her being victimized by wolf whistlers is absurd. Why? Because if that's true, then it would also be true that just about everyone in the USA, Asians excepted, would also have be subject to the predations of cat-calling Brothas, since it is a very well known fact that obesity rates have been on the rise for just about every racial and ethnic group (again, Asians in the main being the major exception). The idea of a kind of "Precious Syndrome" is a very popular one in the Black community among its Women, and has risen to mythic Urban Legend status; but upon closer inspection, it's yet another case of scapegoating to assuage one's failures in life - in this case, one's sexual and romantic one. 

As so many studies and so many people who actually interact day to day in the Black community knows and knows well, the simple - and depressing - truth of the matter, is that the chief reason as to why so many Black Women are so grossly overweight has a lot less to do with cat calling, and a heck of a lot more to do with the simple fact that Black Women like to eat. A lot. Not only that,  but as numerous studies (like this one) clearly shows, Black Women, despite their expanding dress size, see absolutely no problem whatsoever with it, and in fact report seeing themselves as hotter than White Women by a factor of three. These plain-as-day facts clearly debunks Ebony's mystery lady's claims. 

The dirty little secret about Black Women, is that they sabotage themselves - which explains why, as a group, they are the least partnered Women in the country, with the highest out of wedlock birthrates, the lowest marital rates, and among the highest divorce rates. It explains why, in online dating survey and study after survey and study, they come in near or at dead-last in terms of responses to profiles and the like. It explains why, time and again, there's something like six Black Women for every Black Man at these "meet market" events - and it explains why all this obtains, even when controlling for education and income (driving a stake in the heart of the idea of a dearth of "eligible Black Men" - another LIE). The plain, cold, hard, bitter truth is, that Black Men have been and continue to vote with their feet - and there are clear and present reasons for that. The problem facing Black Women in today's SMP isn't a having to contend with an unwarranted horny horde of cat-calling Black Men; it's the brutal fact that more often than not, Black Men aren't bothering to show up at all - or if they do, they don't stick around for very long. This, more than anything else, is what is truly the single biggest problem facing Black Women as a whole - not booty-bandit Brothas. 

As for Chuck: look, I get completely where he's coming from - he wishes to point out the rather obvious hypocrisy he sees on the part of hipster/SWPL Feminists - like that which Jezebel, et al exemplify - their refusal to address what he considers to be clear and present racial differences when it comes sexual politics issues. It's Chuck's position that, because it seems apparent that it is Black and Hispanic Men who do the "street harassment thing" more than do White or Asian Men, this "fact" needs to be highlighted; and that the Jezebel feminists refuse to do this because of their being so punchdrunk on political correctness. 

I get all that, but here's the thing: even if Chuck is right, he still loses. Why? Well, for one thing, all the Jezebel crew needs to do is point out the fact that it wasn't Leroy or Juan who, from positions of power and influence and on a national stage, openly opined that a Woman's body could shutdown an "illegitimate rape", or powerfully assert, that if a Woman conceived a pregnancy as a result of being raped that it was "God's will" - that's what White Women will say, and you know something? They'd be 100% correct. 

Yea, yea, I know - Black (and to a lesser extent, Hispanic) Men commit/are convicted of crimes of sexual violence against Women at a much higher rate than are White/Asian Men - but here again, we have to be completely honest if we're going to go that route. For one thing, we know, for a fact, that it is not at all implausible for a Woman, of whatever color, to simply charge a Black Man of rape, only for authorities to discover, sometimes dozens of years later, that he really didn't do it; and for another, again I point to FBI crime data covering the years 1990-2009, forcible rapes have gone down for ALL groups, including Black and Hispanic. Put that together with the fact that it's darned hard to find a Black or Hispanic male analog to a Todd Akin or a Robert Murdoch, and, well, there you go Chuck. Simply put, what went down at the polls earlier this month was a clear reaction on the part of White Women to how a simple majority of White Men - particularly those who are in a position to actually do something, which Black and Hispanic Men on balance do not have - really think about White (and other) Women. So long as White Men still run things in this county and harbor such views, no, you won't find Jezebel or anyone else really all that concerned with the supposed street predations of Black and Hispanic Men. You can call it whatever you want - hypocrisy, vapid self-interest, etc, et al; all it will have proven is that White Guys still. Just. Don't. Get. It.

And the fact that you refuse to deal honestly with all this, even after I pleaded with you offlist to distance yourself from the crazies that routinely fill your comment threads, only gives the Jezebel crew and others more grist for the mill, not less. All they'll see is a bunch of angry, hateful White Guys who are sore losers, throwbacks to a benighted era - and the connection to what routinely takes place on Manosphere comment threads and what Akin and Murdoch said won't be at all difficult to make. A down-and-out Brotha or Latino cat calling is peanuts compared to a White Guy who more likely than not has power and influence, thinks its OK to rape a Woman. That's how they'll see it, Chuck, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it, other than bleat on and on from your blog. You surely won't be able to beat them at the ballot box - Nov 6 certainly proved that. 

The real sad thing about both groups here - Black Women and White Men - is that they both scapegoat others for their failings when they don't even have to. Blaming Black Men for why your lives are so screwed up helps no one, least of all you in the end - and, little by little, other people are beginning to see this. For example, since Chuck is so concerned about what the Jezebel crew sees or doesn't see: you honestly don't think they aren't paying attention to all of the things I've cited about Black Women above? You think White UMC feminists aren't shaking their heads in disdain and disgust, at the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation (in case you haven't heard, they have a new duet record out)? You think those SWPL gals really buy into all the BS as to why Black Women have produced an image of being perpetually out of pocket (read: he/she/it made me do it)? Really?  

Similarly: does Chuck honestly think that people are going to buy the argument, that White Men as a group and since this country's founding, haven't had first dibs on everything worth having in the USA? Including up to the present day? Does Chuck think that everyone is continuing to buy the notion that the country's screwed up as a result of Black and Brown people? When White Guys run damn near everything; own damn near everything? Does Chuck honestly think anybody is gonna buy the line that White is the new Black? 


Because, if so, it will have proven what I said recently - that White Guys are not only politically inept, but they are also politically tone deaf. 

Scapegoating is the last refuge of those who are truly pathetic. In this, Black Women and White Men are not acquitting themselves well at all - and have a heck of a lot more in common than either may want to admit.

I'm just sayin'.

By the way and just for the record: in no way am I suggesting that "all" Black Women or White Men think or act along the lines I have addressed in this post; as the old saying goes, if it don't apply, let it fly.

Now adjourn your asses...

The Obsidian
13 comment(s).

Posted by Y:

Took a look at the GLP link and the comments...wtf! A cesspool of stupidity and fail.

Anyways I don't by the meme that BW are fat(tenning) to protect themselves from unwanted attention. Overweight BW like most overweight ppl are big due to unhealthy lifestyle, too much fatty foods, and large potion sizes... The BW that subscribe to this meme can't have it both ways. It's not uncommon to hear fat BW claiming big is beautiful and sexy. Those same people can't turn around and then say they are 'uglifying' themselves to deflect male attention...fat can't be a turn on and a turn off at the same time.

As far as (soon to be) marginal white males go. LOL. They stay making fools of themselves with these statements.
Monday, November 19th 2012 @ 9:51 PM

Posted by dragnet:

Good post that really gets to the core of the issue: people who have had relative privilege (black women compared to black men, and white men compared to everyone else) are now seeing it erode somewhat and are panicking.

But the panic strikes me as unwarranted. When it all settles, white men will still be relatively privileged over everyone else---just far less so than before. And black women will still be better off than black men, as a demographic, generally speaking--just not as much as before.

And the beat goes on...
Tuesday, November 20th 2012 @ 11:08 AM

Posted by Y:

@dragnet, have you ever thought of starting a blog?
Tuesday, November 20th 2012 @ 11:31 AM

Posted by Chic noir:

Uncle Mu, I had no idea you were blogging again. Just came around in the sphere again to say hello.:)
Wednesday, November 21st 2012 @ 9:18 PM

Posted by La Reyna:

All I can say that's a great post. Keep up the good work, Obsidian. Nail them.
Wednesday, November 21st 2012 @ 10:54 PM

Posted by MaMu1977:

Whenever I read about street harassment, I think about a story from my youth.

My mother has a major flaw: she talks a lot and she doesn't self-censor. Because of this, I learned that my mother hated the idea of entering into relationships of any sort with her countrymen (despite the fact that African-American/Caribbean inter-ethnic conflict was widespread when she arrived in America. Her reason for ignoring her own men was simple: when she was a child, her next door neighbour used to mercilessly beat his wife. My mother would hear the woman's cries clear as a bell, so she removed island men from her dating list.

I went "back'a'yahd" when I was 22 years old, joined by a few of my relatives. About a week into the trip, my uncle invited us to drive up to their old (pre-emigration) parish. This is what I learned during that day.

1. The "next door neighbour" lived almost a mile away from my mother's childhood home.
2. The "abused wife" was/is 8 inches taller and over 100 pounds heavier than her husband.
3. The couple lives less than 2 blocks away from the local police station, meaning that the constables would have come running if the wife had been screaming loud enough for her cries to carry over a wooded, 15 city block distance.
4. Thanks in part to the loosening of immigration laws, that woman was the only wife in that section of the open who's husband was still living in-country.
5. My aunt, when she remembered who that woman was, sucked her teeth and called her a braggart, claiming that she couldn't stand the woman because the "abused wife" would spend her days crowing about the fact that "her man" didn't have to travel all the way to England or Canada to make money.

So now, when I hear about street harassment, I tend to turn a jaundiced eye at the claimant. Some people ride the "aggrieved victim" carousel for attention, and it's hard to gin up righteous indignation when the supposed target can't be proven to have done anything wrong.
Friday, November 23rd 2012 @ 7:14 PM

Posted by MaMu1977:

Or, to put it simply: if street harassment is so widespread, and if even the lowest of project dwellers can have access to SOTA cameraphones, where's all the evidence of men who are actually *acting* shady? You're telling me that you can post dozens of videos about your "hot night out" with the girls and post footage of ghetto fights on All Star Hip Hop within minutes of the last punch being thrown, but you don't have enough of a sense of urgency to set your phone's camera to "Record" when some asshole starts saying something about wearing your thighs as earmuffs!?

Two weeks ago, I was eating at a Wendy's. A fight broke out and was quickly dispersed. By typing in the franchise name and the cross-streets, I was able to find 3 separate YouTube videos of the fight (subsequently deleted, of course.) But I'm supposed to believe that the best that a harassee can do, when exposed to abuse, is take a blurry photo of the "attacker" (a photo that 8 times out of 10 reveals a person who looks like they're just listening to their iPad or playing GBA?) The way the claimants talk, you'd think that dozens of men were just whipping their dicks out and pointing at them on a weekly if not daily basis. If so, where are the dick pics? Where are the pictures of men with "Oh shit!", looks on their faces as they cover up? Where's the audio files or video of some guy yelling NIN lyrics ("Closer", anyone?), at the victims as the sounds of street traffic or public transportation rings in the background? This shit is checkers, not chess; if you can whip the phone out to record street dancers or puking tourists, you can turn it on and make a record of who is harassing you and how they're harassing you.

But, they don't. You go to the websites and you see homeless people and half-awake subway riders. When a white man was exposing himself to Asian women, the women took pictures and video. A black teen did the same thing in NYC and got recorded.
Friday, November 23rd 2012 @ 7:37 PM

Posted by MaMu1977:

Final part

Let me be clear with those examples. Asian women who could barely speak English, when confronted by a guy waving his dick around and saying, "Two dollar sucky sucky!", filmed him. Black women whose educational aspirations died around the tenth grade, when confronted with a black guy running his unclad pecker against an unwilling woman in public, filmed it and yelled, "You dirty bastards, you going to jail!" But educated, privileged women, when confronted with a strange schlong in public, or when confronted with dirty talk in public, suddenly forget how to press a fucking *button*!? What, is male sexuality kryptonite for feminists, so powerful that decades of indoctrination fly out of their minds when even the most innocuous man says those magic words, "That flower in your hair looks pretty."? Is this the opening salvo for "The War on Women", that a small percentage of (usually inebriated or indigent) men aren't treating you like spun silver? GTFOOH!
Friday, November 23rd 2012 @ 7:45 PM

Posted by dragnet:

@ MaMu1977

Simply epic.
Saturday, November 24th 2012 @ 9:28 AM

Posted by Holla Back:

Obsidian, don't get it twisted. Just because violent crime is down does not mean cat-calling is. It is possible for violent crime to be down while cat-calling could go up. That there are no statistics on cat-calling because women are not running to police stations to report it every time it happens, does not mean that it is not happening.
Monday, November 26th 2012 @ 12:53 AM

Posted by La Reyna(Stephanie):


I agree wholeheartedly on the constant scapegoating of Black men in America. Society and media loves to put Black men in the spotlight when individual Black man get out of pocket when it comes to women. Clarence Thomas, Mike Tyson, Chris Brown, Kobe Bryant, O.J. Simpson, Tupac, etc., are accuse of either abusing, using, or, worse, raping women. Black women need to realize that white men can do a whole lot of damage when it comes to violence against women, then get away with it under the cover of law and media.

More commentary coming from me soon.

La Reyna(Stephanie)
Friday, November 30th 2012 @ 10:40 AM

Posted by black women:

You posting are wonderful and informative.
Wednesday, January 23rd 2013 @ 4:52 AM

Posted by Relationship Tips by Anna Polis:

Your work is totally appreciative and informative.Healthy Relationship with Anna Polis
Monday, January 28th 2013 @ 6:17 AM