I don't think interracial dating is some "Great White Hope", i just think it should be treated as an option, much like all the other dating options out there. And not just white guys, but Hispanics, Asians, Indians, whomever. Men are men, and my feeling is, find one that you like, and are compatible with, and keep on stepping. I see no reason to close off avenues that have not been explored. Why all the fuss with black women using their options? I think black men can be fine partners (I am married to one after all), but other men can be too. If it isn't your thing, then no big whoop, try something else. I personally don't see all the angst and drama behind it.
There simply aren't enough black men period to go around. Too many lost to death, detainment, drugs, and dumbassery. Even if we exclude educational criteria, there simply aren't enough. So a black woman has few options. She can resign herself to being alone (which some do), she can share (which some do), she become a lesbian (which some do), and she can look outside the black community(which puzzling enough few did, but increasingly more are). The math makes it so that black women have to avail themselves of one (or more) of these options. I don't see why the interracial option is so horrible.
The comments above were made by my erstwhile interlocutor Deery, and at first glance, they seem rather sensible, right? However, a closer look gives one pause.
Let's now deconstruct what Ms. Deery has said and respond in point for point fashion now, shall we?
DEERY: I don't think interracial dating is some "Great White Hope",
OBSIDIAN: Well, you may not, but quite a few fellow travelers of yours, do - and I don't even have a problem with that. I just think it's the height of intellectual dishonesty and disengenuous thought to so blatantly deny the facts along these lines - simply put, White (and for that matter, other non-Black) guys, in the main, aren't checking for Sistas. Why THAT creates such a stir and angst and agita, is fascinating to me.
At any rate, what Dragnet recently said along these lines, is worthy of reposting here: "However, I think that if said black women think that dating out is going to solve their problems, they're sadly mistaken. Men are now only 40 percent of college graduates and the numbers are projected to fall even lower. Fewer men of any race are going to college, meaning that black women will be competing with white women (and every other race of women) for the same shrinking pool of men. Black women should date out if they want to but in light of these stats they may want to put the cork back in the champagne bottle for now.
Dating out isn't the problem, it's the feeling of white men as saviors that is--and yes, that's the subtext here despite what Deery and Banks are saying. That, and the hypocrisy of wanting to date out to put pressure on no-account black men, but not dating black betas which would've accomplished the exact same thing."
Would love to read your reaction to Dragnet, Deery...
D: i just think it should be treated as an option, much like all the other dating options out there.
O: For so many Sistas, it isn't an option - just like for most Men, regardless of color, getting with a Dime simply isn't an option. And life goes on.
D: And not just white guys, but Hispanics, Asians, Indians, whomever. Men are men, and my feeling is, find one that you like, and are compatible with, and keep on stepping.
O: You are more than free to feel anyway you like. But the fact remains, that when it comes to LTRs, Men determine this, and the data on this score is clear, they check for Sistas last and least.
D: I see no reason to close off avenues that have not been explored.
O: They have been explored, with the result being, that Black Women continue to be responded to least and last. See
here for more on this point...
D: Why all the fuss with black women using their options?
O: Because it seems that those who bang the drum for it
can't seem to do so without running Brothas in the ground. That's why. Why can't they simply just do it, like Brothas, and Asian Women, etc et al, do? You don't see all these articles and blogs and the like by these folk, do you? If they want to date/marry out, they simply get er done. Why can't the Swirling Sistahood do the same? Why must they kick dirt on the whole of Brothahood to do it (and they're doing a piss poor job of it if the data is anything to go by;
compare and contrast this to their Asian American sisters...wow...)
D: I think black men can be fine partners (I am married to one after all), but other men can be too.
O: The latter was never in dispute; as to the former, by the totality of your comments, one would get the distinct impression that you think Black Men overall do NOT make "fine partners".
D: If it isn't your thing, then no big whoop, try something else. I personally don't see all the angst and drama behind it.
O: Here, let me help you; repeating from above:
Because it seems that those who bang the drum for it
can't seem to do so without running Brothas in the ground. That's why. Why can't they simply just do it, like Brothas, and Asian Women, etc et al, do? You don't see all these articles and blogs and the like by these folk, do you? If they want to date/marry out, they simply get er done. Why can't the Swirling Sistahood do the same? Why must they kick dirt on the whole of Brothahood to do it (and they're doing a piss poor job of it if the data is anything to go by;
compare and contrast this to their Asian American sisters...wow...)
D: There simply aren't enough black men period to go around. Too many lost to death, detainment, drugs, and dumbassery.
O: Wrong on all counts. First of all, we have to note
the FACT that there are now more Brothas on the college campus than in the joint (though that doesn't account for the fact that quite a few Brothas don't get anywhere near the bang for the educational buck they go into hock for - more on this soon...), and as
Steven Pinker has shown all of us,
violent crime of all kinds has and continues to go DOWN - which means, along with fewer homicides, assualts and the like,
FEWER ARRESTS.
As for the "dumbassery" remark, I would be very interested in learning what exactly do you mean when you say that, since I think its fair to say that it isn't something that can be measured and presented on a spreadsheet. Please explain?
D: Even if we exclude educational criteria, there simply aren't enough.
O: Yes, there are. More here: New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black Love and Marriage
Happy reading!
D: So a black woman has few options.
O: That all depends on where she falls on the attractiveness scale; the more attractiveness she has, the better her chances, all things being equal. There, fixed that for ya.
D: She can resign herself to being alone (which some do),
O: This usually happens as a result of the Sista in question overestimating her SMV...
D: she can share (which some do),
D: she become a lesbian (which some do),
O: Usually reserved for the Morlocks of the Sistahood; yes, go on...
D: and she can look outside the black community(which puzzling enough few did, but increasingly more are).
D: The math makes it so that black women have to avail themselves of one (or more) of these options. I don't see why the interracial option is so horrible.
O: It isn't, SO LONG AS THE SISTAS DOING IT AREN'T RUNNING BROTHAS INTO THE GROUND. The reason(s) why these Sistas aren't successful don't have anything to do with the race of Man she's with; indeed, as you noted above, some of these Sistas choose the Lesbian Way, and soon discover that they have the same problems they did when they were riding the Good Wood. That should tell them something: that their problems aren't external, but internal. Of course, it makes sense as to why they continue to live in denial. The truth that the problem lies within themselves, would utterly crush them.
Anyway, just wanted to get caught up on some of the comments you've made over the past few posts. If so inclined, holla back.
Any questions?
Now I have a question for you, Deery:
Given the fact that you have a Black hubbie, why do you care so much about the whole "swirling" issue? After all, you don't have a dog in the fight; you've lucked out, to let you tell it; so, what gives? Why, on just about every discussion that occurs here along these lines, do you appear and appear so vociferously? What's up with that?
Now adjourn your asses...
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