During last month's discussion, "Freakonomics & The Ho Economy" O-Man commenter Doc Love offered a link to another blogger's view of Black Men and how they relate (or not) to prostitution. That link, which takes one to a blog called The Honest Courtesan, is a post entitled simply "Black Men" and is written by one Ms. Maggie McNeil, a former prostitute/call girl/escort/courtesan who now blogs about her previous experiences for the benefit of the wider public. I had in fact known about her blog for sometime prior to last month's discussion, and ironically enough, had gotten wind of it as a result of the book, Freakonomics. 

In an interesting contrast to what our previous discussion was about - that how, in the Chicago area, prostitutes actually charge Black Men less money for services and White Men considerably more, Ms. McNeil, who hails from the Big Easy, gives another take on the Brothas. In her view, most aren't worth the time or effort, and tend to be damaged goods. While she freely admits that her views are limited to the New Orleans area, she contends that she is not alone in her view of Black Men in general, that other call girls report similar findings. 

While I find Ms. McNeil's blog to be quite informative and entertaining to read, I must say with all due respect here that her post in question leaves quite a bit to be desired. Without question the kinds of Black Men she mentions, on both sides of the caricature-divide (she seems to have a liking for real life Steve Urkel-types; to each his or her own), exists; but the huge problem I have anytime I happen to have discussions surrounding Black people with White people is, they don't actually KNOW enough Black people or about Black culture and life, to have any kind of deeply informed, nuanced opinions. It's as if they read a Cliff's Notes version of "I Know Black People!" and left it at that, confident that they knew all they need to know about Black America, and then go off half-cocked, which only makes themselves sound and look like a fool. This is especially embarrassing for well-meaning people like Ms. McNeil; ignorance of a people and their culture is no excuse or legitimate defence. 

So, since I am a Black Man, have been one all my life and can confidently assure Ms. McNeil and anyone else that chances are high that I know at least as many other Black Men, from all walks of life as she does, I thought to set the record straight a bit as to what she's written on the matter.

First, I think it's a mistake to assume that there are only two types of Black Men - the hypermasculine gangbanger, and the aforementioned real life Steve Urkels. The truth of the matter is, that the range of types and temperments in Black America among Black Men is quite considerable, and here's the really strange part Maggie, they often overlap. That's right - Black Men can be, and often are, quite complex - it is not at all uncommon to see that upstanding Brotha in the Brooks Brothers suit and president of the local Toastmaster's club to be an utter jerk of the first order; nor is it all that uncommon to see that thugged out and tatted up Brotha who enjoys a good chess game and can talk at length about the Greek classics. I've seen both types of Brothas up close and personal, and it is quite clear to me that, as a result of your very limited experience of Black culture and life, that you have not. This is truly sad; it suggests to me that you and quite possibly your fellow former coworkers/colleagues, might have been in the kind of work that lended itself to attracting a rather bifurcated clientele of Black Men; I don't know. What I do know, for certain, is that what you described in your post completely misses entire swaths of Black Men - including me. 

I think it is this inability, or indeed potential unwillingness, on the part of Whites in general to entertain the idea of complexity with Black people, that keeps them from dealing with the fact that just because one is Urban, does not mean that they are also Ghetto - there is a big, huge difference between the two. If Ms. McNeil were to speak to me on the phone, I would undeniably sound like a Brotha with a rather strong and thick Philly accent - but my diction, word choice and the like would not peg me as coming from the Richard Allen Homes. My style of dress and manner of being would not at all mirror or model the fictional Carlton character on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - it would be undeniably urban and disctinctive in its appearance; but neither would it confuse me with the prototypical "thug nigga" either. 

Indeed, and I don't know if Ms. McNeil knows this or not, but a huge draw if you will, among Black and non-Black Women alike, is a Black Man who is, to use the street vernacular, an "educated thug" - a kind of shorthand for what I noted above in the distinction between being Urban, and being Ghetto. While I personally dislike the appellation being applied to me, I think it nevertheless is useful here, and again I have personally known scores of Black Men, past and present, who are this way, and as a result have gained nothing but considerable benefits from it. Nor should this be something that is at all alien to Ms. McNeil - after all, she of all people should know that Women crave and desire complexity in a Man more than anything else about him. The simple caricatures she offers up in her post is likely to drive most Women of substance off, and sooner rather than later. 

That brings us to another bone of contention I have with Ms. McNeil's missive. She asserts that Black Men are "too rough" with their sexual style, and then goes on to describe "that pelvic thing" they do in order to "beat the pussy up". My response to that is simple - there are quite a few Women out there, who do indeed want their pussy "beat up". Not all, of course, and of the Women in question who do, not all the time - but quite a few Women do indeed like it rough. Indeed, there is a reason why thug niggas abound, Ms. McNeil, and again I would think that one with as much experience and knowledge about sex and the interaction along these lines between Men and Women would be well aware of such things; but the truth is, that quite a few Women prefer to be treated a bit rough in the bedroom. They enjoy their bottoms being stretched out, they enjoyed being tossed around a bit, bitten, smacked and so on. Nor is this something that the Brothas have the lock or corner on - not by a longshot. A quick scan of the Kama Sutra, the world's oldest sexual manual, has entire sections on how to "beat that pussy up", among other things, and that's at least a millennia old at this point, if not two. Again, I'm not saying that a bit of rough and tumble rumpy-bumpy is for everybody - by the way you write it certainly doesn't seem to be for you or the few ladies you mention - but the fact that such practices have been around for so long clearly informs me that quite a few ladies do indeed like, and crave, such experiences in the bedroom. 

Another major problem I have with Ms. McNeil's post is her assertion that "Black culture" has some kind of lock or corner on Misogyny. While I would certainly be the first to agree that Black America has its fair share of problems and then some, this notion that it takes the hatred of Women to new heights is just downright ridiculous, to tell you the truth. I mean really - is Ms. McNeil or anyone else out there, going to tell me with a straightface, that the Marquis de Sade and Lil Wayne are in any way comparable? 

Really? 

Come on. 

At this point I suppose I should mention that I have absolutely no problem in the least with who Ms. McNeil or any other call girl, or for that matter, any other Woman whether she be a call girl, streetwalker or whatever, allows into her bed or not, for whatever reason she chooses. Not only am I a staucnh supporter of the right of the freedom of association, but as I follow the tenets of Game, I understand better than anyone that in Nature, Males display, and Females choose. So even if Maggie had come to this discussion with the kind of depth of understanding and nuance that I laidout above and still had come to the conclusion that she didn't want to be bothered with a Black clientele, I would have no problem in the least supporting her decision. 

The problem I have is that she is so woefully ignorant of the basic facts of the matter here, which again as I have indicated above, seems to be the default position of far too many White folks, even well meaning ones, and they ought to know better at this point in the game. African Americans are your fellow citizens. If you're going to discriminate against them/us, at least have your history and facts straight. 

My job is done here. 

Now adjourn your asses...

The Obsidian