"And the Obsidian wants to paint it all black...as he is justified."
NOTE: Over the past month or so at a blog I hangout at called Very Smart Brothas, I had noticed a frequent commenter who refers to himself as "The Realist Leo". TRL would often register his problems, complaints, frustration and yes, bitterness over his failure to achieve success in the dating market. His laments have earned him something of a cult-like status over there; his very screen name is now synonymous with the VSB phrase "Bitter Man".
Although a number of VSB commenters attempted to offer advice to TRL, something to be lauded for sure, I for one could easily see that it wasn't going to be effective - for one thing, the bulk and mass of this advice, such as it was, was coming from the female participants of the forum - which right off the bat, spelled all but certain doom for TRL. Given how long he had been complaining, I suspect my observations of those giving the advice were correct.
Even more recently, during an exchange with one of the VSBs, Panama Jackson, it became clear to me that it was not his or VSB's mission to assist Men like TRL. After a lot of thought about the matter, and after consulting with a few trusted friends, I came to the conclusion that if guys like TRL are to be helped at all, or at least the hope for it, it would be, because of guys like me, who not only cared, but actually knew how to help. This, then, is the first of what I hope will be a series of open letters to TRL, and all the other Brothas out there like him, who find themselves on a desert island in a sea of plenty.
To The Realist Leo,
As promised, here I am to assist you in achieving your sexual, romantic and relationship goals - in that order. And why, specifically, in that order, you may ask? Because as Men, we understand that things usually flow in such an order, *and we need not apologize in the least for that*. As you may be aware, I've been reading your comments at VSB for sometime now; since at least Dec of last year, to present - and you have expressed a litany of concerns and laments, grievances and complaints, as to your woes in the dating and mating sphere. Hopefully, what I write today, and what's to come over the next few weeks (perhaps longer, depending on where you are and what you need), you will find most helpful on your path to happiness - because make no mistake TRL, happiness for a Man, and the closest thing any Man can come to Heaven on this Earth, in this life, is to be found between a Woman's thighs.
As I've already said, I've read quite a bit of your VSB comments (and the reactions to them from other VSB members) and have come to the conclusion that I cannot do proper justice to them all in the form of only one open letter posting on this blog - therefore, I've decided to proceed in serial posting format, where I go from the general to the specific, addressing your particular concerns as time goes by, week by week. For Game isn't something that can be learnt in lickety-split fashion, I believe; it takes time to both learn that, and to UNLEARN all the "blue pills" you've been spoonfed over all these years - about the sexes, about Women especially - what turns them on, how to approach them, how to get the ones you actually want, how to get them to say "Yes!". Game, is the "red pill", and it is some powerful stuff - but in order to properly understand it, and in order to properly wield it, you need to take the time to actually study it.
So, in this kickoff open letter post, I'm going to address what I think you need to get and understand first and foremost; some of the basics of Game, what it is, who I am, and so forth. So, let's get right to it...
What, is Game? You've heard the term, I'm sure - indeed, the term is constantly used in Black America, and was no doubt appropriated by White PUAs (Pickup Artists) after observing the time-honored ways with Women that Black Men are virtually universally known for. And to be sure, with the "macking/pimping" subculture that has been a part of Black American life for the better part of a century at least, and the fact that it is alive and well in our time, we can safely say that there is something to be said for all of this.
But, the sad truth of it, and this is where you and Brothas like you come in, is that the above statements are actually only applicable to a rather small slice of Black Men overall; a dirty little secret amongst the Brothahood is, that if you're actually IN the hood, when it comes to Women, its either feast or famine - you're either swimming in vaj, or you're pussy-parched, for real.
Nor is this anything new - like I said, the mack/pimping subculture in Black America has been around for a very long time. So too has the phrase "the game is to be sold, not told" - meaning, that those who had knowledge of the Crimson Arts, not only kept it to themselves on the quiet, but fiercely fought to keep other Men from getting wind of it. I know you know what I'm talking about here, and every other Black Man who is reading along will instantly recognize it as well - for not only did Game in its modern sense get its beginnings - at the least, a very big push - in Black America, but, at least as far as Black America is concerned, it also has had this definining quality to it. And once an idea catches on and "lives" within a community over a number of years, people forget about how it came about; it just "is", and people accept that as part of the way of things. So this explains, in part, WHY you were unable to get the answers you sought over at VSB; WHY your fellow Black colleagues mocked and made fun of you, and so forth. None of this is new in the least, to so many Black Men in our time. Game, in its modern form, is here to help Brothas specifically like you - because if there's one type of Brotha who is hurting really bad in this time of Poon-a-Plenty, its the somewhat Nerdy Brotha. But fear not. We're gonna fix that.
Game, simply defined, is a mating strategy - a constellation of behaviors, language, actions and school of thought, all designed with the goal of winning the SEXUAL ATTRACTION of a Woman. This is hugely important; go back to what I said earlier: sexual, romantic, relationship - right? In the mating dance, EVERYTHING starts at the sexual level; if it ain't sexual, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. In order for things to happen between male and female, there must be sexual attraction and tension. If not, you wind up with being put in the Friend Zone (something you have an intimate familiarity with). In Game parlance, they call it being "LJBF'd" (Let's Just Be Friends). Human beings, like every other living thing on the planet, has a mating strategy, or a series of them - and when you really break it down, of all the things all living beings on this planet does and can do, them mating is the most important. Why? Because, without them mating, their species will cease to exist.
Game is a way to assist Men achieve their biological imperative to mate. It's as simple as that. In my view, it is the most accurate, efficient and proven method of doing so. Of course, others may disagree, and you even may have some trepidations in that regard. But as you will soon see, Game is no joke. Even a Man who has what a colleague of mine, The Fifth Horseman, calls "moderate Game competence" is lightyears ahead of the competition, with the attendant success in the dating marketplace to prove it.
Moreover, let me make something clear here: I speak from experience. I have actually used Game to achieve my sexual, romantic and relationship goals. In fact, I am doing it, as I type these words. Nothing I say here, or in the letters to come, is borne of disjointed or otherwise arid academic theory, or the flights of quasi-metaphysical fancy, the latter of which are hugely popular in the Black community, given that the relationship "self-help" market is driven by and caters to, Black Women - but rather, rooted in cutting-edge Human Sciences such as Evolutionary Psychology and others, field-tested numerous times under a plethora of conditions, and confirms the Wisdom of the Ages - yes, Game is in the world's sacred texts, too. And it's best known literature. In fact, Game, like the mythical Matrix, is all around us, ever present. Hence one of my favorite Maxims: anywhere, anytime, anyplace you see Male and Female, there too, you shall also see Game.
So, rest assured that what you're getting here is the real deal, chief. If I tell you thus and so, you can take it to the bank.
Now, let's move on to a few other things...
Before we get to the specifics of your particular situation, we need to get your head in the right space. Here is where I need you to trust me, and to trust what I'm saying to you will indeed prove effective. What you have been doing up to this point - and that includes your recent internet activities - have not proven effective. This is a sign that you must consider doing something different - drastically different - in order for you to get the results you seek.
Therefore, I recommend that you get the following books:
The Game, by Neil "Style" Strauss
The Evolution of Desire, by David Buss
The Red Queen, by Matt Ridley
The Mystery Method, by Erik "Mystery" von Markovic
Pimp, by Iceberg Slim
The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene
Consider these to be your "core curricula" if you will, as we will be drawing on these works, and/or the things we discuss can be found within these works' pages. For the Gamesman, they are required reading - you do NOT know Game in the least, if you haven't read these works, TRL. Please do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh, and while we're on that point, let me say something else: you can and will encounter people who will attempt to poo-poo what you're doing, based on their own ignorance; don't fall for it. In fact, it's probably best that you keep all of this to yourself; the naysayers will soon see the results for themselves.
At any rate, everything I'm telling you and will tell you, can be traced back to one or more of the books on the list above, and as we progress further in addressing your concerns, I'll mention other books and attendant sources for you to look up. Oh, and there are at least two Internet sources I can personally recommend at this time for you to puruse at your leisrure, and which will serve to augment the reading list above: two blogs. One is called Hooking Up Smart, founded and run by Susan Walsh, the only Woman I know personally that actually has studied Game materials to any degree; and the other is a blog called The Rawness, created by a Brotha up in Brooklyn named T aka Ricky Raw. He in fact has written a series of posts where he discusses Iceberg Slim's immortal work Pimp, and Ms. Walsh's blog is a clearinghouse of information on dating and relationships; simply put, arguably the best out there in terms of bringing realworld scientific fact, evidence and research, to the dating and mating market.
I almost forgot - you might want to get Thomas Sowell's book on economics, too. Why? Because the sexual marketplace operates on the same principles as the monetary one does. The more you understand this, the more you understand the SMP, and the better you are able to leverage your own specific "product" to get you what you want.
And, we will address your specific concerns - such as, why would a Woman invite you out to dinner, then expect you to pay for it? Or, why so many Women either laud your intelligence and then put you in the Friend Zone, or, they ridicule you for being "too smart" - either situation ending up with you being out in the cold? Or why what you say you want never seems to align with what you actually get. Or, why you can never seem to be in the right place at the right time to meet the right kinds of Women you actually want to meet. All of these things, and more (such as the height thing - don't believe the hype, being a shorter guy has virtually no bearing on your ability to score -IF you have Game), we'll be dealing with in the weeks to come. I've got all your comments over the past few months saved to my hard drive, and each week we'll deal with a few in detail, referring back to our reading list and so forth. So again, don't worry. Brothas gonna work it out.
See ya next week.
Now adjourn your asses...