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Wednesday, December 19th 2012

1:19 PM

A Sista With Issues At The Laundromat

A most interesting thing happened yesterday - while Ms. Brown Sugah and I were doing the weekly wash at the local laundromat, we happened to encounter what I refer to as a Sista With Issues, or SWI for short. For those of us who have some familiarity with the Black community, such people are not at all hard to come across or indeed spot at twenty paces. Usually, their less-than-hospitable demeanor is explained away as the result of some series of unfortunate events at the hands of (Black) Menfolk; I say ballocks on all of that, as it is my considered view that it is not what others do, real or imagined, to you that defines you, but how you respond that does. 

At any rate, while waiting for our clothes to dry, we watched "The Talk", which is a knockoff of the hit daytime chat show "The View" - a table full of Women get together and gossip about this and that. First up: a recent study showing that more Women than ever are giving it up on the first date - and more Men than ever are NOT liking it. 

As the ladies on The Talk weighed in giving their takes on the matter, Ms. Sista With Issues chimes in:

SISTA WITH ISSUES: Men can't handle strong, independent Women, that's what this is really all about.

OBSIDIAN: Actually madam, that's not what the latest scientific research has to say at all on the matter; as one of the hosts on the show above on the tv makes clear, Men will most definitely take a Woman up on the offer of sex freely given on a first date; but he will not likely want to invest time and resources in her as a longterm mate. This is because of the evolved sexual psychology of males to ensure paternity certainty. A Woman who puts out too early in the courting process signals not only that she's "easy" but also that she may be so for other males as well, raising doubt as to who the baby daddy is - cue "Maury"...

SWI: Men don't like it when a Woman can call her own shots. I've constantly encountered Men who hit on me when I don't want to be bothered. I was married for 22 years, and have had enough of that*. I like being single, and don't want to be bothered, and would just like to be left alone. Men can't handle a Woman telling them that they don't want or need them in their life. Many Men feel that a single Woman "needs a Man". Nothing is more offensive. 

O: I see. In light of your apparent difficulties then, I take it you are in full support of legalized prostitution, and the continued widespread distribution and availabilty of pornography then?

SWI: What? Oh, I support the right of people to do whatever they want. If Men want to deal with prostitutes and get STDs, that's on them.

O: Actually madam, studies have shown that prostitutes have substantially lower rates of STDs than the general population; in other words, a Man has a higher chance of contracting a STD dealing with a non-prostitute Woman, than a Woman who was indeed a prostitute. Second, studies also indicate that, in those areas of the world where prostitution has the full backing and support of the State, crimes of sexual violence, and even things like "street harassment" go down like a rock. So, if "not being bothered" by unwanted Men is your concern, one thing to do about it is to let your elected officials know that you fully support legalized prostitution and why; our State Rep's office is right down the street...

SWI: I still don't see how all of that has to do with Black Men standing around on the corner all day, most of the time harassing me and other Women...

O: I just explained to you how legalizing prostitution, etc. can indeed remedy the troubles you've reported; moreover, what does anyone, Black Men or otherwise, standing on the corner have to do with anything?

SWI: They don't work and aren't being productive.

O: How do you know they don't work and aren't being productive? You can determine all of that merely by observing them for a few moments passing by?

SWI: Black Men don't want to work. They stand on the corner all day not doing anything. It's obvious that they're not working. 

O: No madam, what's obvious is that you happen to notice some group of Black Men standing on the corner. You don't know them anymore than you know me, whom you're talking to right now, and chances are that you haven't spoken to them anywhere near as long as me, especially given how much you deplore being approached on the street. You don't know if those Black Men do indeed have jobs or not - for all you know, they could work at night when you wouldn't see them. They could work swing shifts. Or they could indeed be collecting SSI and the like. What if some of those Black Men you're bemoaning actually were working, being taxpaying citizens, for more than half of their lives - and what if they took an early retirement - something that would certainly make sense in these times of great economic volatility? Perhaps their idea of leisure is standing on the corner and busting it up with their friends. In any event, those Black Men have every right to stand on the corner - they have the Right to Freedom of Assembly, the Right to Freedom of Association and the Right to Freedom of Speech - meaning, that if they do indeed catcall or wolf whistle at you, as deplorable as you may find such behavior to be, they have the right to do it. Calling the police on them won't solve anything, as they cannot make them move without probable cause of them having committed a criminal offense. How do I know? Because I discuss such matters with local law enforcement officials regularly in my capacity as a participant in my local neighborhood town watch. Besides, the issue here isn't whether they work or not, as you've made it clear that you don't want to be bothered in any event - unless you're suggesting that apparent employment status on the part of the putative unwanted suitors changes your perceptions of said unwanted suitors?

SWI: Well, they could be more productive by teaching younger Black Men how to behave...

O: I beg your pardon? Where is it written that those Black Men, or anyone else, has to "teach" anyone how to do anything? Those Black Men aren't obligated to do anything for anyone, other than being a good citizen - which begins first and foremost with being law abiding. By all accounts, the Men you speak of are indeed doing just that. And since we're on the topic of teaching the young, a goodly amount could be said of the need of older Black Women to teach younger Black Women how to comport themselves in public and private...

SWI: Well, I admit to not having positive views of Men since what has happened to me personally; a old White Man setup cameras in my home and took video/pictures of me in (suburb of Philly). That the Brothas didn't do anything about it and indeed thought it was funny, is something that greatly bothers me.

O: Hold it - I thought you were a fiercely independent Woman, who didn't need any Man, Black or otherwise? While what you report is indeed regrettable, it is hard to reconcile your previously stated views with your remarks just now. 

SWI: It's the Man's job to protect the Women, that's what the Bible says...

O: The Bible also says that Women are to be silent in the church and submit to their husbands, but it's quite clear that many Black Women, perhaps yourself included, don't appear to agree with this. Why then should Black Men be held to Biblical edicts when Black Women themselves don't evidence much desire to uphold them?

SWI: Well, the Man and the Woman are supposed to help each other, that's what the Bible says.

O: I'd like to see that Bible of yours; my recollection of reading it says nothing about "helping each other". Back to the point - have you gone to the police about the White Peeping Tom?

SWI: Filed ten reports...

O: I see. Might I recommend a lawyer? It sounds like you have quite a case. 

SWI: Yes, I do.       

O: I also would recommend a therapist, as scapegoating apparently unemployed Black Men will not solve your problems with old White pervs. 

*That Man should be canonized as a Saint...

The reason why Women in our time continue to say and do silly stuff, is purely because Men allow it. The moment you start chin-checking them with simple reason and logic, via the means of Dialectic and the Socratic method, Women can and will fall in line, if for no other reason than it becoming increasingly apparent that they are making utter arses out of themselves. 

Speak up, Black Man. Speak. Up.

Now adjourn your arses...

The Obsidian
16 comment(s).

Posted by Dorsey:

I'll refer you to a comment on a piece I read earlier today ( http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2012/12/18/are-young-black-men-rejecting-obama/?singlepage=true ) that I thought of after reading your exploit w/Sista with Issues:

"When in Brooklyn during the gas shortage I was in a gas line for 7 hours with no luck. I overheard Haitian radio talking about how great the election was and women were calling in about how dare Romney run for election just to thwart the will of the people and waste time and money. Black men were walking by and they were saying the vote had to be taken from the woman. That the woman are ruining this country.

Men do not seem to care for large organizations, institutions and committees the way women do and we are seeing a divide in what people want to have ordinary everyday life be like. I am sure Obamacare is more attractive to women than to men. At least that is my observation."
Wednesday, December 19th 2012 @ 5:59 PM

Posted by Terri:

Thursday, December 20th 2012 @ 8:49 AM

Posted by HanSolo:

Yep, men need to stop being pussies and trying to "make women nod" (Bill Maher). Just keep at socratites and don't let her pull a fast one on ya or shame ya into shutting up.
Thursday, December 20th 2012 @ 11:48 PM

Posted by HanSolo:

Recently a girl I was talking with pulled out the women earn 70 cents for every dollar a man earns. I sent her some articles that show that that is due to certain factors like working less hours, different fields and so on, and that actually single women under 30 make more than men now. To her credit she was open minded and accepted the facts. So I took her out on a date and rewarded her with a nice little makeout by the lake.
Thursday, December 20th 2012 @ 11:51 PM

Posted by HanSolo:

Should read, "keep at it socratites"
Thursday, December 20th 2012 @ 11:52 PM

Posted by Chic Noir:

Sexual harassment on the streets is real. It's one thing to tell a woman she looks nice but another to eye rape her. If gay men started to do that openly to you str8 men, there would be hell to pay.
Saturday, December 22nd 2012 @ 12:31 AM

Posted by Obsidian:

@Chic Noir:
"Comment: Sexual harassment on the streets is real. It's one thing to tell a woman she looks nice but another to eye rape her. If gay men started to do that openly to you str8 men, there would be hell to pay."

O: And, as happened in the case of Matthew Sheppard, if such "hell" was indeed visited on said gay men, the perps would be locked up and punished severely - and rightly so. In the meantime, I'm sorry Chic - the First Amendment, is what's real here. People have the right to look at you if they want.


Call your Congressman, Senators, etc, and tell them that you fully support legalized prostitution - the studies are rock solid in addressing the concerns you have...

Saturday, December 22nd 2012 @ 1:51 PM

Posted by Anonymous:

Legalized prostitution hasn't worked out so well for Amsterdam

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Now, many Sistas reading the above will rightly point out that there's a middle ground between acting like a creep or a douchebag, and acting in socially appropriate ways when dealing with Women in the social spheres like work, school and even out on the street, and I wouldn't disagree - but here's the problem they're either not seeing, or perhaps won't see.
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